(a year ago, I had published a blogpost with same title 🙂 )
New Year started with the usual unique celebrations, cheers and yeah; not to forget the resolutions as well. Almost everyone was into it. I too used to be in the league but with the time I learnt it is not my cup of tea; I am not celebration type guy (quite boring huh..) nor the one who follows the track of decided resolutions.
Just in the glow of this shiny ‘happy new year’ light, I asked one of my friend about his thoughts, views or resolutions; basically I asked him to tell me whatever he has to tell me about new year. He started
” See yaar, me too. I am not the kind of person who wishes new year, sets resolution and start writing diary although it might last for a month only neither I have any sort of action plan of ‘what to do.?’. But I will tell you what I did on this new year occasion.” He continued with a short pause while staring at the horizon. ” The first thing I did was, I looked back. I looked back at the past year. I saw what I earned and what I lost, what did I learnt and where did I go wrong. I looked at my ‘Baggage of life’ and observed what is in it that I have collected in the past year. There were new cool things I experienced and the ones with horrific twist too. There were some new relation-strings attached and some went on to break out too. Just like a LIFE kind of thing, there were lots of ups and downs. But the greatest thing the 2018 gave me was ‘Realization‘. The last past year was the year of realization for me. It made me realize the things. Things which I already knew or the things which I was unaware of.” Even after he stopped talking the above line; I was unable to decipher the meaning of his sayings. He picked up the expressions of my confusion (lack of understanding) and curiosity (strong wish of overcoming that lack of understanding) and again dived into his speech.
“Alright, let me explain it for you. There are two things with us. First is knowing and the other is realization. Knowing means knowing (chuckles) There are many things that we learn or they comes to our knowledge because we are told of the same, We are taught such things by our parents, teachers, elders and the society. We live and the things that we perceive through the experiences of others is known as Knowing (chuckles again) Hope I am not making this more confusing for you.” I assured him with the nod and signaled to proceed.
“And, realization is something that you see, live by yourself, you feel it in your core and the emotions, opinions, vision and thoughts that floods in afterwards are yours alone. Realization is the understanding things through our own nature or say, soul. In knowing, you know something that you had read, heard or been told somewhere. But realization is one step ahead of this because in this, our mind starts to process things through its own mode of perception despite having the previously acquired knowledge of the same. It sprouts out when our mind steps beyond the boundary of taught knowledge and seek out for the nature of things, incidents, people, emotions all by ourselves. Realization comes in the when mind goes out wandering for the self-owned, judged opinions. It is like a pearl which is discovered when the mind takes a dive into the deep ocean of thoughts with the diving gear made of our own philosophy.
For example, I know what a drought is so do you, I knew it since long ago but it was now when I was struck with realization of what actually a drought is, how terrible it is and how it affects the lives. I knew that lack of raining is drought because it is what I have been told, reading, taught and lately seen too. But it was just a piece of knowledge for me until I had the realization that drought is not just a natural calamity, it’s a curse for the farmers, it destroys smiles and wipes the joy, it dries out the hope and wells up the tears in the eyes. It jus..”. The words next to these were choked in his throat, with a long pause,
he uttered the last statement; ”As in for this case, knowledge would make you feel sad but realization is the one that hits the nerve and make you real sad, real sad like..like wet eyes, heavy chest and all that”. He smacked his lips; “I should’ve given some other example, maybe love or addiction” and at the end chuckled again. “Nah, none of the latter two are my forte” I tried to ease the vibes.
Long silence (but not awkward in any way, at all)
“Realization it is, I would dive for it once my gear is set” I said and continued “alright that was about last year, lets head for the New Year. Tell me whatever it is you have thought, planned or set out resolutions for 2019.” He laughed a little, “I don’t have any resolutions or set plans. I already have the diary in line since almost a decade so let’s drop it here but yeah, I do have some thoughts better say guide ways to follow this year. In fact they too are connected to the previous year’s Realization. These thoughts which I have decided to follow or adapt are the conclusive fruits of this realization thing. It is the realization which made me derive the thoughts after I came to face the things of life. Obviously they are not the supreme philosophical principles to be followed by you or any other. They are by me, and I see them fit & best to be followed.” He kept on explaining his things to me.
“The very first thing is, I don’t want to be a (advisory notice, explicit content follows) bitch. I don’t want to be villain of anyone’s story. If there’s anyone who will treat me not-nice or bad. I won’t keep on doing the same in reverse as if vengeance. No matter how you are to me, I will try my best to be good because recently I had the realization that it is better to be forgotten than being villain of some ones story so why not at least try to be remembered as a nice guy once you leave.”
“Other thing is, I don’t want regret for things I have done or the things I missed to do. We often do that, if there is mistake, we regret for committing that and if there was a thing that we wanted to do but time passed for it, we regret for not doing it. What I have theorized from my lessons that there is no way regret can undo our mistakes and neither it can bring back the time which has elapsed. Instead if we focused on avoiding same mistakes and hitting another time-chance, it will prove more helpful.” He shifted his tone a bit.
“Another planned thing is that I am trying to stop being judgmental. Many of us have it. The things done by others by their own conscience to themselves are likely to be judged by our own kind of perception, conscience. There is a girl wearing shorts; there is a boy eating non-veg food. If to be seen through the eyes of an orthodox, that girl is judged to be as ‘not nice’ or the boy as ‘sinner’ through the eyes of some divine vegan. Yes, sometimes judging things is good and necessary too but if there is no harm nor there is a mutual thinking aligning with one’s such judgment on large scale, then I think it is better to stop judging and drawing self-indicted conclusions about someone else. As much as I believe that whatever you are doing is ‘wrong’, there is exactly the same belief in you that whatever you are doing is ‘not wrong’. It is just matter of clouded judgment or an open mind. This is what I want to make stop; being judgmental.”
He stopped talking, I thought he is done but after short self-thinking time he started “And at last I realized that just missing people doesn’t count. You have got to call them, hangout and spend some time. Because trust me, even if it seems normal now someday it might push you in great regret and distress. Better avoid that.” With this, friend of mine exhaled deeply and gave me indication, “That’s it..!”
After that we had long talk but I only noted the things here which I thought are enough. Well Happy New Year..! Just because I don’t like to set resolutions doesn’t means it is not cool, obviously it isn’t.
(see, I am trying to avoid being judgmental 😉 )